guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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