Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
