I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize