Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize