Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
