oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
