You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Rumble strips road head = magical
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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