hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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