Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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