Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
