There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
