I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
