saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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