Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
