i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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