At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
