Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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