For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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