R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
