im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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