I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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