Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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