you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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