the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
