There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
