doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
