u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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