Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
