I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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