i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
its not stalking. its research.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
