We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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