if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
