im six kinds of drunk right now
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
