He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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