Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
