Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
