Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Randomize
