and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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