It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
