no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize