uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
