That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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