so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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