This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
