lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
