The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
