4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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