I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
