i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
