You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
