shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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