Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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