You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Randomize
