I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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