uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
