Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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