It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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