When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
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