is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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