She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
And then he peed in my hair
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