whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I did not marry a roomba.
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