I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
