no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
