honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
